Board Thread:General Discussion/@comment-34798955-20180310144518/@comment-35757757-20190629013136

TheHumanAmbassador wrote: Alright.. Let's analyze your entries.. (Don't worry guys, if you missed out on the experiment... It's not actually over yet.)

We'll start with MML's, because that one came first. We'll see if you were able to make the whole thing good. (Good lines will be labeled green, and bad ones red. ...Questionable ones will be somewhere BETWEEN green and red (like yellow or orange), depending on how questionable it is. I'll be looking at the lines as if they were responses to the previous one, so it's possible to get a red Asriel line if you set the Chara line wrong. ...Believe it or not, my own fill-in didn't get perfect greens.. Chara's line about doubting I'd say is a yellow one.)


 * Asriel: I... I don’t like this idea, Chara.
 * Chara: Are you... crying over this?
 * Asriel: Wh-What? N-No, I’m not...
 * Chara: Come on! Remember what I always say? * Asriel: ...big kids don’t cry.
 * Chara: Exactly! We’re big enough to handle this.
 * Asriel: Yeah, you’re right.
 * Chara: ...you’re doubting that this plan will work, aren’t you?
 * Asriel: No! I’d never doubt you, Chara! Never! (The plan, or Chara, Asriel?)
 * Chara: Just remember, with the power of our SOULs combined, we’ll be able to do this!
 * Asriel: Y...Yeah! We’ll be strong! We'll free everyone! (Fixed a typo)
 * Chara: Now, let’s begin.
 * Asriel: I’ll go get the flowers.

...Well, that's passable. But did Mago do better? Well, let's analyze it and find out!


 * Asriel: I... I don't like this idea, Chara.
 * Chara:Don't tell me you're crying?
 * Asriel:Wh.. what? N-no, I'm not.... big kids don't cry. (Really, now? Turning two Asriel lines into one?)
 * Chara:Exactly,you have to be strong!
 * Asriel: Yeah, you're right.
 * Chara:Maybe you doubt that my plan gonna work?
 * Asriel:No! I'd never doubt you, Chara. Never! (Same problem as MML)
 * Chara:So we have to be strong and free everyone!
 * Asriel:Y... yeah! We'll be strong! We'll free everyone. I'll go get the flowers. (You did it again?)

Well, looks like MML did better so far. Let's see who else has entries for me to evaluate.

Thanks for the feedback

Didn’t know I made a typo (probably because I didn’t look back on it)

The doubt thing was supposedly to be because Chara came up with the plan and I imagine Asriel looked hesitant, even when he agreed with them. After all, this plan involves his best friend and adopted sibling committing suicide. Chara asked if he was doubting if they’d be able to pull the plan off basically. He said he’d never doubt Chara because they came up with the idea.

That’s basically what I was going for

Hope that cleared things up

Again, thanks for the feedback :)

Now I’m gonna see if I can edit my Randomtale blog posts on the AU wiki that have been made outdated by my plans for the AU (and maybe edit some other stuff with the posts as well) (Also I made chapter two)

..well, after I see what this one person commented on a thread I was following. Though chances are I’ll just do that and then listen to music or something

Goodbye