Board Thread:General Discussion/@comment-27677820-20160316034026/@comment-5956954-20160316064707

Is Asriel The Best? wrote: Cheeseskates wrote: fix the punctuation (especially the closing punctuation) and contextual spelling errors, and it would be a great AU :) Are you just always on this website? H-ly carp, it seems within at most 20 minutes you always have a reply on whatever stupid topic I create. I'm thankful in case my tone isn't portraying that, just amazed.

Also, could you elaborate on the errors you mentioned? I'm not really a writing person, so I honestly don't know what you're talking about. Well no, that's not the case. I actually write quite a bit, just not in this "dialouge style". 1. Thanks for the compliment. I try :)

2. ok. I'll post the mistakes. They will be bolded unless they don't exist, then I'll bracket it.



A: “Frisk, do you really have nothing better to do?”

F: “Nope, not a single thing(.)” 

''F: “So what if the means are unsavory?” Frisk says frowning. “You’re getting your happy ending. You could stand to be a little more grateful about it(.)”''

A: “Is saving me really so important you’d sacrifice years of your life to do so(.)?”

F: “Of course(.)”



Where is the period at the end of some sentences? Also, "''You could stand to be a little more grateful about it." I think "'grateful for it" would be a better preposition, but that is you.''



(Frisk strolls into the room, a picnic basket and a checker board in hand.)

''Frisk walks to a patch of flowers in the ruins, with a picnic basket and a checker board in hand. (Asriel turns to him.)''



If you google "checker board " you will see that it will always be "checkerboard," so that might need to be unspaced to make "checkerboard."



''A: “Grateful?” he scoffs, “I’m completely content with my decision. I’ve decided absolutely and wholly that I don’t want to be saved. I’ve come to terms with all of it’s benefits and consequences. You’re doing nothing but hurting me right now.”''



Incorrect use of the Apostrophe. Consider removing it to create a possessive instead.

correct: "I’ve come to terms with all of its benefits and consequences."



(Asriel covers his face with his hands as if trying to hold something in, but then he uncovers it in a sudden burst(-).)

Go be with the people you love and forget about me Frisk before you do something we both regret!”



"as if" and "before" are both dependent clause markers, so a comma is not needed. Also, random hyphen :P



''I've befriended everyone in the underground and felt nothing. I've slaughtered everyone and felt nothing.''



Unnecessary commas before a compound predicate ("and" in this case).

Welp. That's it. I'll let you review this and let you see what is right or wrong. Hope I helped :)