I can't go to hell. I'm all out of vacation days.
Burgerpants, after being threatened during the Genocide Route
"Burgerpants" is an employee at the MTT-Brand Burger Emporium, a fast-food restaurant located inside the MTT Resort. He is the last vendor in the game and sells the most expensive and potent healing items.
Profile[]
Appearance[]
Burgerpants is a 19-year-old orange cat-like monster who wears a small hat with the letter M on it, as a part of his job working for the MTT-Brand Burger Emporium.
Personality[]
Burgerpants is a highly stressed-out service employee, who hates his job and his employer. He mentions that he originally wanted to be an actor when talking to him, which is likely the reason he makes many dramatic facial expressions. He can be sarcastic at times, as shown when he is annoyed. He maintains a cynical view of the world and his future, specifically about his interactions with attractive people. Despite this, he is still shown to be rather hopeful at times. He can be ecstatic and very opinionated when talking about certain topics.
Dialogue[]
- Buy
- That's not the right amount of money. [Not enough G for purchase]
- You don't have room. [Full inventory]
- So do you want it or not??? [Refuse buy]
- We don't HAVE any more. [Sold out]
- Before buying something
- Welcome to MTT-Brand Burger Emporium, home of the Glamburger. Sparkle up your day (TM). [Upon entrance]
- The customer is always right. [Upon exiting a menu]
- Buy
- How can I help you, O customer? [While purchasing]
- Thanksy! Have a FABU-FUL day!!! [On purchase]
- Sell
- (WHY IS THIS PERSON TRYING TO SELL ME SOMETHING THIS IS A HAMBURGER RESTAURANT I'M JUST TRYING TO SURVIVE)
- WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE.
- Talk
- I'm sorry, (Ha ha) it's against the rules to talk to customers who haven't bought anything.
- Exit
- Have a SPARKULAR day!
- After buying something, then Talk
- What can I do for you, little buddy? [Upon entrance]
- Anything else you need? [Upon exiting a menu]
- Buy
- Take what you want, little buddy. [While purchasing]
- Here you go, little buddy. [On purchase]
- Sorry... You can't take it for free. [Not enough G]
- You gotta drop some stuff. [Full inventory]
- Don't worry about it. [Refuse buy]
- Like I'm making THAT again. [Sold out]
- Sell
- Hmmm... Why not try selling that to the two chicks in the alley?
- Talk
- What? Why do you keep trying to talk to me?
- I'll get in trouble if I get chummy with the customers.
- Sorry.
- ...
- SO, I wanted to be an ACTOR.
- Take it from me, little buddy. [Talk continues]
- Exit
- Any time, little buddy.
- Talk
- [Life Advice]
- I'm getting on in years, so let me give you some advice, little buddy.
- You've still got time. Don't live like me.
- I'm 19 years old and I've already wasted my entire life.
- [Romance Advice]
- Listen. I like you, little buddy. So I'm gonna save you a lot of trouble.
- Never interact with attractive people.
- Unless you're "one of them," they're just gonna take advantage of you.
- Like that time those two chicks asked me to sneak them some glamburgers.
- And I, naive teenager that I was, said yes to them.
- Bad idea.
- [Glamburger Story (NEW)]
- So I went out to the alley to see those two ladies, and uh... you know, see what'd happen next.
- ...
- Then my boss, uh, saw me and asked me what I was doing.
- I was so startled, the hamburgers in my pockets tumbled out onto the ground.
- Not wanting to lose face, I scrambled to pick them up!
- But, as I was leaning over, the weight of the remaining hamburgers...
- ... caused my pants to fall down.
- Then the girls laughed at me.
- Everyone calls me Burgerpants now.
- [Glamburger Story]
- Everyone calls me burgerpants now.
- But you won't, will you, little buddy?
- [Clarify Story]
- (Unlocked after seeing "Burgerpants" option from Bratty and Catty but NOT "More Burgerpants")
- Huh? Yeah, those two vendors in back. The girls.
- NOT the Nice Cream guy.
- He keeps coming in here and asking me stuff like, "Hey Burgy, what do you think of this joke for my next ice cream wrapper?"
- Joke? Why are you calling it a JOKE?
- You drew a picture of two dudes hugging and wrote "I love hugs!" on it.
- You somehow understand comedy EVEN LESS than that guy who keeps going on stage and crying about his family.
- Anyway, I, uh, just tell him that they're good, because he gives me the nice cream for free afterward...
- [Bratty & Catty (NEW)]
- (Unlocked after seeing "More Burgerpants" from Bratty and Catty)
- The girls were... Talking about me...?
- They say I should stop acting like they owe me...
- ... and if I want to be FRIENDS with them, I should just... uh, try to see things from their perspective?
- Wow.
- Poor, naive little buddy. They've brainwashed you.
- "Friendship" is just a hot person's way of making you their slave.
- ...
- So, uh, what time would they wanna hang out?
- Well? Don't keep me waiting, little buddy!! [Bratty & Catty]
- [Outing]
- (Unlocked after seeing "Clarify Story", and then "B.pants Hangout?" from Bratty and Catty, but NOT "That Kind of Guy".)
- Hey little buddy, wanna help me pick a spicy outfit for my little shindig later?
- Though, now that I think about it, I had to throw away all of my clothes to make room for the outfits Mettaton gave me...
- Don't take it the wrong way. They're just all these...
- Weird getups.
- "Promotional" costumes. For "holidays." Or "specials." Or "because he felt like it."
- The thing IS though! Most of the time I'm the only employee who has to wear this stuff!
- Sometimes he even calls me into his office just to... Make me put something on...
- Then he laughs and lets me go back to work as normal.
- Anyways, I won't sweat it, little buddy. I'll take it casual.
- NEVER let hot people think you care. That's how they GET you.
- [Catty's Invitation (NEW)]
- (Unlocked after seeing "That Kind of Guy" from Bratty and Catty)
- They wanna hang out after work?
- Ha! Ahahaha!! Yes!!! I won't let you down!!
- Little buddy... thank you.
- You've brought a tear to the eye of this old man.
- So, uh, where do they want to go?
- ...
- They want to hang out at the garbage dump.
- ...
- Well, nowhere to go but up, right, little buddy?
- Thank you, little buddy. [Catty's Invitation]
- [Mettaton]
- When I first came to Hotland, it was my dream to work with Mettaton.
- ...
- Well, be careful what you wish for, little buddy!
- [Why is Mettaton bad (NEW)]
- God, have you even looked around? This place is a labyrinth of bad choices.
- And every time we try to change something for the better, he vetoes it and says "that's not how they do it on the surface."
- Oh! Right!
- Humans are always eating hamburgers made of SEQUINS AND GLUE.
- [Why else is MTT bad (NEW)]
- Why do people find him so attractive??
- He's literally just a freaking rectangle.
- ...
- You know, one time, I bought one of those, uh, kits online... to...
- Uh, make yourself more rectangular.
- ...
- They don't work.
- Let's not talk about this. [Why else is MTT bad]
- [Your future]
- Future? WHAT future? Nothing down here EVER changes.
- I'll probably be trapped at this stupid job forever.
- ...
- But wait! There's one thing that keeps me going!
- If ASGORE gets just one more SOUL, we'll finally get to go to the surface!
- It'll be a brand new world! There's gotta be a second chance out there for me! For everyone!
- So stay strong, little buddy. When I make it big, I'll keep you in mind.
- I'm a goofy goober Yeah this errorr. message. [Unused]
- Talk
- [Freedom]
- So we're free, huh? Mettaton told us as much.
- Then he told me, "don't think that means you're getting out of work early."
- Ah... my boss. I love that guy.
- And by that I mean I hate him so, so much.
- [Bratty and Catty]
- Those girls? The ones who saw my pants fall down?
- Well, we're all gonna be free, so I'll never see them again, at least!
- [Bratty and Catty]
- (if the protagonist did the sub-arc)
- So we're free now.
- Does that mean my double-date is cancelled...?
- ...
- I know, it wasn't really a... A date.
- Here's a trick, little buddy: Lie to yourself all the time. It makes you feel better.
- [Freedom]
- Don't tell anyone this, Little Buddy.
- (Because they'll make fun of me,)
- But I... I feel like I played a hand in everyone getting free somehow.
- Even if it was just working this awful job...
- I think I did something!
- I don't know if it's true, but I'll believe it anyway!
- [Future]
- Little buddy! There's a brand new world out there waiting for us.
- I'm sure with my (ahem) qualifications, it won't be long before I'm a famous movie star...
- Or, maybe I'll just end up flipping burgers again.
- But it's as I say! Nowhere to go but up! Literally, in this case!
- (Why do I always get the freaks?) [Upon entrance]
- Buy
- Are you gonna order or what? [While purchasing]
- Here you go, little weirdo. [On purchase]
- Sell
- Ah. Yes. I really want to buy your weird dusty artifacts... NOT.
- Talk
- Nothing else to do!
- [Evacuation]
- Evacuation? You're yanking my chain, little weirdo.
- So WHAT if everybody else left work? So WHAT if nobody's buying anything?
- Par for the course, little weirdo. Par for the course.
- [Mettaton]
- Well, Mettaton didn't tell me I HAD to work, I guess...
- But that's the thing! Sometimes he doesn't even call me into work until halfway into my shift!
- If I don't play it safe, he's going to yell at me.
- Okay, maybe "yell" is the wrong term.
- It's more like he has this... CD album he plays...
- That's entirely full of songs about how bad I am at my job.
- [Alone]
- Huh? Everyone else is DEAD?
- ...
- Does that mean I don't have to work today?
- God. That it were true, little weirdo. That it were true.
- [Threaten]
- Sorry, little weirdo. Threats won't work on me.
- I can't go to hell. I'm all out of vacation days.
- Exit
- Alone again...
Gallery[]
Trivia[]
- The name "Burgerpants" is not the real name for this character, but instead a nickname.[2] His real name is unknown.
- When attempting to name the fallen human "BPants," the response becomes "You are really scraping the bottom of the barrel."
- Burgerpants is one of the few characters whose design closely matches his concept art.
- The "M" in his hat changes along with some of his expressions.
- The Shop music in the MTT-Brand Burger Emporium is slowed down to 0.7x speed during the Neutral and True Pacifist Route.
- In the True Pacifist Ending Credits, Burgerpants can be seen in a bush on the stage with Mettaton.
- In the game's strings, among other Burgerpants dialogue, there is a message stating: "I'm a goofy goober Yeah this errorr. message." This is a reference to The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie, where the Goofy Goober song's lyrics consist of "I'm a goofy goober yeah."
References[]
- ↑ Now that people have started receiving their cards, I can finally show the extra cards I did for the set. And here they are! - dogbomber on Tumblr, October 21, 2016.
- ↑ Everyone calls me Burgerpants now. - Burgerpants